11.23.07

The Adventures of Phyllis and Chauncy

Posted in My.Randoms at 3:54 pm by amccorristonwo

She quickly ran up the winding steps to the top of the tower in the plum factory. With great effort she attempted to dodge the plums being hurled at her from the top of the tower. With little success, she found herself covered in juices and flappy purple plum skin. She made her way to the top of the tower and tripped over the last step. She lied flat on her stomach, gazing at the feet of the tall plum throwing man in front of her.

Let me tell you how Phyllis ended up covered in juices and flappy purple plum skin at the top of a plum factory tower.

Phyllis was only 12-years-old, with a lot of life waiting for her. She grew up in an orphanage with her brother, Chauncy. They weren’t the happiest children they could be, but they were enthusiastic and optimistic.  When their orphanage was terrorized and burned down by a herd of wild disease infested Nigerian cows, they decided to go on an adventure unlike any other.
They left their ruined, rampaged orphanage in Kentucky and ran away. They ran all the way to Alaska. Don’t ask me how two twelve-year-olds could run all the way to Alaska, perhaps they were runners, worthy of Olympic gold medals. Whether this is true or not I do not know. I’ll let you make the decision.
Anyways, Phyllis and Chauncy (runners or not) arrived in Alaska hungry and cold. 
“What are we to do, Chauncy? I’m freezing cold and awfully hungry.” Phyllis said, with pleading eyes gazing at her twin brother.
“I know. I have an idea. We can skin a polar bear and wear the skin. It will keep us warm.” Chauncy said. Phyllis’ eyes lit up and she smiled at her brother. They dug in the snow to try and find tools to skin the polar bear with. They came across three stainless steel knives. They ran at the polar bear with courage and strength, tackling it down and quickly removing its skin. How two twelve-year-olds managed to tackle and skin a polar bear is beyond me. Perhaps they are professional weight lifters. Who knows.
Once they were warm Phyllis came up with the incredible idea to go ice fishing. They cut a hole in the ice with their knives and made a fishing rod out of the polar bears bones. They fished and fished and managed to catch eight blue salmon. Blue salmon, that’s right. I think the twins were excellent fishers. 
They ate their salmon and huddled under their polar bear coat. They were getting very tired of Alaska, and very quickly. All of a sudden, three eskimos ran out at them with spears, yelling “Oooka lambi chachi ko mola!!” Over and over and over again. Loosly translated, that means “Don’t skin our polar bears you devil children.” So Phyllis and Chauncy ran and ran and managed to escape the crazy spear-wielding eskimos. They ran so far and for so long. They didn’t stop running until they found themselves in Kansas.
“Do you think we’ve lost them?” Chauncy asked.
“I think so.”Phyllis replied.

They were quite tired so they ran to the nearest building – the Kansas Plum Factory. When they walked in, a song was playing over the loudspeaker - ”In The Air Tonight” by Phil Collins.
“I love this song.” Chauncy said. They began to dance. THey danced their hearts out, switching from hip-hop to freestyle, from ballet to tap. They were amazing dancers. I like to think that they danced for music stars in videos.
“Hey! You kids!! What are you doing in here? There’s a rule in here… no dancing allowed!” A large burly man screamed at them. He chased them into a corner and grabbed Chauncy, dragging him away.
“Where are you taking him!?” Phyllis screamed.
“TO THE TOWER! HE WILL BE BEATEN WITH A COMPUTER MOUSE AND THROWN OUT THE WINDOW> SAVE HIM IF YOU CAN, LITTLE GIRL!!” The man screamed and ran away.

Phyllis started balling. What was she to do? All of a sudden she realized that she had to save him. Chauncy was her brother and they were together forever. She needed her brother. She followed the man and chased him all the way up the tower after her brother. Well, you know the story.

So Phyllis was lying staring at the mans feet. She saw the computer mouse in the corner of her eye, lying close to her right hand. She lunged for it and wrapped it around the mans neck. She grabbed her brother and ran away from the plum factory. She was so happy she had saved him.

The alarm clock rang and Phyllis woke up in her orphanage bed, beside the other orphaned kids. She sighed. Another day… it was just a dream.
 

9 Comments »

  1. Wes Kerfoot said,

    Wow, that was one WEIRD dream.

  2. Jess Watson said,

    that was spectacular. made me laugh so hard. anyways i must say this was a very well done

  3. crogerswo said,

    Wow that was the FUNNIEST story ever! and these children are amazing! They are incredible runners, fihers, hip hop, ballet and tap dances and on top of ALL that weight lifters! theese are some kids :) Your great Ashley and we should all do this more often…this is actualy a good short story(consider it! You must do this!)

  4. BAAHHHH!!!! i love Phyllis and Chauncy!!!! ashley im pretty sure you should amke it a series..this will be part one!! wooohoooo!!!! haha the flappy plums.. only you ashley.. only you :)

  5. is this going to become a weekly post ashley?? cause that would be pretty close to awesome.

  6. For those who don’t know, this was just a “Hey, I’m bored, give me random things to incorporate into a story” kind of blog. So it’s not supposed to be good, haha. Anyways, I’ll consider making a weekly contribution to the lives of Phyllis and Chauncy. I must say, they’re pretty neat. Lol. Although that would mean that every week someone would have to give me random places, things, events, murder weapons… etc. HumHum… I’ll consider it :) .

  7. crogerswo said,

    ok… places… Wonderland, Amazon rain forest, a public school. Things… binder, stapler, cell phone
    Events… computer crashing, buildings colapsing, war
    murder weapons… nail clipper, poison, musket(one that has no acuracy)

    What else u want :)

  8. mstrauswo said,

    AHAHA!!!

    That was fun to read!

  9. Thank you Caity for supplying the words things places murder weapons and so on. I am writing a new Phyllis and Chauncy story using those words right now. Get ready!


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